COLUMN: Birthday bucket list is half full, never empty

When someone sends you birthday wishes, as I have been receiving this week, there is the obligatory clever comeback to explain getting older.

Another trip around the sun. Another ring around the tree. Another spin cycle on the washing machine. Another lap around the yard with the lawn mower. Another trip to Home Depot for duct tape to hold it all together.

I was born in the spring, and I am now in the autumn of life. The self-reflection of advancing age — hopefully with accumulated wisdom — is to read the tea leaves and look over your shoulder without getting whiplash. 

A “bucket list” is a wish list of desires before you “kick the bucket.’’ This year, mine includes going on my first mission trip (to Costa Rica) with my church, starting a podcast with my youngest son, reading the Bible from cover to cover (already thrilled to have made it through Leviticus) and hopefully having a variety of camellia with my name on it.

Not all buckets are created equal. They can be planned or serendipitous. They are not always calculated or premeditated. I am like any other accidental tourist, willing to meet life in the moment and see what happens.

Some of the boxes I have checked have been one-hit wonders. Others I would gladly bring back for a curtain call. I consider all of them candidates for the archives.

Preached a sermon. … Been kissed by a camel. … Performed on stage with a band (Grapevine). …  Spoken at a graduation commencement. … Dressed as a 7-foot Yak and stuffed into the back of an SUV. … Received a write-in vote for lieutenant governor in 2002. … 

Had a sandwich named after me at a cafe in downtown Macon. …  Stood in the two-room shack in Tupelo, Mississippi, where Elvis was born. … Had a pie thrown in my face at a high school pep rally. … Ridden on an elevator with Jane Fonda. (Could not stop thinking about Barbarella.) … Driven a tractor. … Hiked part of the Appalachian Trail. … Been to a hog killing and stayed for lunch. …

Worked a shift at the Waffle House. …  Been a guest on the pregame radio show with Larry Munson before a Georgia football game. … Stood on a glacier in Alaska and, on a trip to Canada, watched one-fifth of the world’s fresh water rush over the top of Niagara Falls. … Cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Barnes & Noble at River Crossing. … Judged beauty pageants, parade floats, poetry recitals and chili cook-offs. …

Extradited fruitcake to six different states. … Written a musical for the Youth Actors Company at Theatre Macon. … Had a flag flown in my honor at Camp Phoenix in Afghanistan during Operation Enduring Freedom. … Covered The Masters, Final Four, World Series, Super Bowl and Summer Olympics. … Munched on a piece of toast in Chillicothe, Missouri, the home of sliced bread… 

Been nominated for a Grammy. … Watched an Apollo space launch. … Traveled way down upon the Suwannee River on an overnight boat trip. … Autographed two of my books for Bill Clinton and Garth Brooks. … Proposed to my wife on April Fools Day. … Stepped inside the “world’s smallest police station” (a phone booth) in Carrabelle, Florida. … 

Danced to the waltz and the cha-cha as a contestant in the Central Georgia Dancing with the Stars at the City Auditorium. … Been in a cave. … Delivered newspapers on a bicycle. … Crossed the border (legally) into Mexico and back. … Been given keys to the city of Macon and Dog Crossing. … Did 600 sit-ups to get an “A” in my eighth-grade P.E. class. … Shook hands with Jimmy Carter. …

Flown in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon. … Had my picture taken with two Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. … Watched Herschel Walker help “carry” our suitcases at the Atlanta airport baggage claim. … Climbed the steps to the tops of the Eiffel Tower, Washington Monument, Statue of Liberty and lighthouses in Georgia and North Carolina. .… 

Played in two 100-hole golf marathons. … Slept on a train. … Met a munchkin (Karl Stover) from “The Wizard of Oz” and one of the Tarleton Twins (Fred Crane) from “Gone With the Wind.” … Stood in the front yard of a house off Route 66 in Commerce, Oklahoma, where Mickey Mantle learned to throw a baseball. … Eaten rattlesnake in Arizona, escargot in France and C-rations in the woods at Fort Benning. … Seen Rock City and Stonehenge. 

The birthday boy always tries to look at the bucket as half full, never half empty.

Ed Grisamore received the 2024 John Holliman Lifetime Achievement Award from the Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communication at the University of Georgia.  He was the recipient of the 2010 Will Rogers Humanitarian Award, presented by the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.