COLUMN: To all the graduates: Advice for the road

Excuse me. You over there on the edge of the stage, wiping the sweat from beneath the mortar board on your brow.

Soon, you will be swinging that tassel from right to left. While you are trying to get all those butterflies in your stomach to fly in formation, you hope your classmates won’t notice that tear in the corner of your eye. 

Don’t worry about it. They have one, too.

When you hear the name on your diploma called out, you will walk across that stage. Or dance. Or do a cartwheel. Or simply try not to trip over your feet.

Remember to smile for the camera.

Now what?

I was in the same spot many moon pies ago. So allow me to offer some advice from a lifetime of experience and accumulated wisdom. I have been a senior in high school, a senior in college and a senior citizen who is still studying for his final exam.

So here goes.

Begin each day with this prayer: “Dear Lord. Where do you want me to go? What do you want me to do? Who do you want me to help?” … Have a purpose. And, if you don’t have one, find one. …  Look people in the eye when you talk to them. … Your cell phone is NOT your brain. … Fill your life with experiences you can look back on and say: “I’m glad I did that!”

You will be invited to plenty of arguments in the years ahead.  You are not required to attend all of them. … Be punctual. Show a reverence for other people’s time. … Do your best to acknowledge people. Don’t treat folks as if they are invisible. And never make fun of someone’s appearance or where they live. …  Eat a green vegetable every day and, if you’re still hungry, eat two. …  

Look both ways in everything you do, not just when you cross the street. … Write it down. You may think you will remember it, but that’s not always the case. Trust me on this one. … Be responsible. Things you think are cool when you’re 16 years old become cringeworthy when you’re 30. … Try to leave every place better than you found it. … Stay in the moment. Be wherever your feet are. …
When you find yourself in the spotlight, go backstage and bring someone with you for the curtain call. … Don’t complain and don’t play the victim. … Dress for success. A famous athlete once said: “If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you play good. And, if you play good, they pay good.” … “Silent” and “Listen” are spelled with the same letters. The less you say, the more your words will matter.

Learn to be an early riser and do all your heavy lifting before lunch. … As you turn the page to the next chapter of your life, pay attention to Frederick Buechner. “You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.” …  Good habits are the silent architects of your life. … There are no problems, only opportunities.

Rest is important, but laziness is not a virtue. So don’t be a couch potato chip. … Do the right thing in the right way at the right time for the right reason. … It’s not how you start but how you finish. Go to YouTube and watch Dave Wottle, the guy with the golf cap and two bad knees, make a run for the gold in the 1972 Olympics.

You don’t have to stick a pin or plant a flag in everything you do. And don’t judge your self-worth on social media. Comparison is the thief of joy. … If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said. … Enjoy your youth because when you get older, that “check engine” light is going to come on from time to time.

Always be humble and kind. …. Learn to say no. If you try to do everything, you won’t do anything well.  …  Happiness is not an entitlement. Own your attitude. … Do what you love. Love what you do. … Some people are never going to clap for you. Avoid the ones who are so miserable in their own lives that all they want to do is to slap the joy out of yours.

No, you don’t have to receive “notifications” about everything. … Take the back roads whenever and wherever you can. …  

Learn to coach up others and remain coachable yourself. …. There is more to this world than sound bites, quick hits and binge watching. … You did not make it to this day alone.  Remember the thank-you notes.

At a recent high school reunion gathering, a classmate said that when Gris was manager of the school’s basketball team, he ”always offered a fervent prayer for victory” before each game. Although the team didn’t win that many, it was a nice way to be remembered.