FPD students learn practical life skills — and how to handle loss

By the end of the semester, high school students in the Family Life classes at First Presbyterian Day School will know how to change a tire, sew on a button and tie a tie.

Their teacher, the Rev. Bob Veazey, is convinced these tasks are essential tools.

“I call them life skills,’’ he said. “They learn things like how to write a thank you note and address an envelope.’’

Veazey has been around the block enough to know. He and his wife, Nora, have been married for 41 years. He is a father and grandfather. He has been a pastor for 35 years and has taught in the Bible Department at FPD for 22 years. He also coaches middle school football and golf.

In generational ways, showing a teenager how to balance a checkbook may appear to be old-fashioned and antiquated. And the young people he instructs are more familiar with emails and text messages than pen-to-paper notes of gratitude.

Sew on a button? They grew up with Velcro. Change a tire? AAA is just a phone call away.

But Veazey believes these experiences are standard equipment for navigating the road ahead. Somewhere in life’s instruction manual, they should include directions on teaching Gen Z how to wash laundry and fold clothes.

He takes time to go over these simple lessons during breaks in the broader units of the course curriculum — topics such as dating, marriage, divorce and personal finances.

The class is an elective and is made up of seniors and juniors who will soon be out on their own. Some of the most impactful moments come at the end of the course when Family Life focuses on “Death and Dying.’’

“We are coming at it from a Christian perspective, a Christian worldview,’’ he said. “I explain to them that we are all going to have to go through this. Some of them have experienced the death of a family member or someone close, but the majority have not.’’

During the time the class spends on the unit, students are assigned to write their own obituary. Veazey also discusses how to write a eulogy — what and what not to include.

“As a pastor, I’ve been doing funerals for 35 years,’’ he said. “But over the last 20 years, I’ve been seeing more and more family members involved and speaking at funeral services. Many times, they know the person better than the minister.’’

The students take a field trip to Hart’s Mortuary downtown, where owner and funeral director Milton Heard IV meets with them in the chapel, discusses the history of funeral services, talks about the roles of the coroner and funeral home staff, and shows them caskets and cremation urns.

Veazey said a former student’s mother died while the young lady was taking the class two years ago. When the “Death and Dying” unit came up, he asked if it would make her uncomfortable. 

“She even wanted to add some things,’’ he said. “She shared some of her feelings and emotions. The class was in tears.’’

While there is structure to his lessons, Veazey said he strives to give his students as much freedom as possible. He has some pastoral rules, some “Do’s” and “Don’ts.” He makes suggestions on how to dress appropriately when they attend a funeral or memorial service. He assures them it is OK to cry and be sad.

“One of the biggest questions they ask me is what to say to people who are grieving,’’ Veazey said. “I tell them they don’t really have to say anything. Just be there.’’